Why do guys speak and interact like "guys" ? (for the most part)
Most often guys talk about the SAME things. I'm sure there are girls who over hear guy conversations and just roll their eyes because of the conversation topics. Why do guys talk about the same "manly" things all the time such as sports, business, money, cars and women? Moreover, why do men tend to talk with certain tendencies and slang terms? One of these tendencies is the lazy, and I just don't care enough attitude.
From my experiences with friends, guys do like to "conform" to guy talk for two reasons. The first is that they want to feel like they are a part of the group and that they can associate and relate to everyone else. The conversation topics mentioned above are easy ways to relate and converse with other males. Most guys have a fair amount of knowledge on these topics, unlike shopping, cosmetics and tv dramas. (not saying that this is all females talk about) The second reason males like to talk about the same "manly' things is so that they can look "cool" infront of females. No males likes to be embarrassed or not "one of the guys" when there are girls around. Each male likes to show off his masculinity and toughness to females. This reason covers the point of, why do guys not cry openly?
Males behave and use certain speech acts to feel connected to other males. Being able to swear and use the same slang makes every male feel like they are a part of something. Knowing inside jokes and stories plays a large part in a group of males. From my experience, when a male misses out on a joke or event, it makes that male feel more excluded and not as close to everyone else.
Here are a couple short clips I found on youtube about men being "men"
Video 1: This is a video trying to explain why guys don't cry and possible reasons why is it or isn't allowed.
Video 2: This video is just a collage of clips, where guys reveal situations in which they have cried. The video puts the interviewed males in some really awkward situations, when they are questioned.
One question I have after writing this blog is: do females even find it attractive when males act all friendly in their own group? what about when guys act tough?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Computer Mediated Communication
Sometimes people believe that talking through CMC affects the way we communicate with other when we are face-to-face. This is especially convincing when we hear people out in public saying things like OMG, LOL, LMFAO, BRB etc. which are very commonly used CMC terms. When asking people why they use CMC terms, they often say that its short form and quicker, which I guess is understood since Sinaporeans do the same thing by talking really quickly and shortening words.
However , I do not think that CMC affects the way we talk face-to-face. Even though we tend to use some "lingo" from our CMC because we actively use that method of communication, I think that people who use both methods are completely aware of when to use the norms of each. When we are in face-to-face communication situations we do not even consider responding in ways that we do over CMC communication. (eg. one word answers with lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks)
Here is a rather funny clip about using computer lingo in person.
If we did decide to talk face-to-face using CMC lingo and norms we perhaps would sound like the following... (watch second half of the video)
However , I do not think that CMC affects the way we talk face-to-face. Even though we tend to use some "lingo" from our CMC because we actively use that method of communication, I think that people who use both methods are completely aware of when to use the norms of each. When we are in face-to-face communication situations we do not even consider responding in ways that we do over CMC communication. (eg. one word answers with lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks)
Here is a rather funny clip about using computer lingo in person.
If we did decide to talk face-to-face using CMC lingo and norms we perhaps would sound like the following... (watch second half of the video)
Monday, October 12, 2009
Face and Politeness - Off Record
After reading the lecture the most interesting ideas that caught my attention were "on" and "off the record" conversations. I always knew that these types of conversations existed, but had no idea that they were categorized. I myself probably use both types, even though I do not like it when people are off the record. I prefer it when people are direct and forward with their conversations, especially when they want something from me. I have a friend that is ALWAYS off the record whether it is a favor or object that he wants from me or attention.
Some examples,
He would walk into my room and say to himself "I'm soooo lonely... (sigh)" expecting me to give him attention and ask what is wrong.
If we were in the kitchen, he would say "Who had pasta for dinner and left their dishes in the sink? I hate it when people do that" This is when he fully knew that I had pasta for dinner.
If I ever wanted to drive his car to school, he would say "The car is a little low on gas, and I was going to fill it up the next time I went out... (pause)" and wait till I would say that I would fill it up
Initially, I tried to please my friend giving him the attention or other request he wanted, but more recently I have begun to ignore those "hints." What I'm getting at is, what is the polite way to respond to someone who is annoying you because they are always indirect and can never ask a direct question? Since a lot of the time, they are only hinting at a question, do you avoid it and go along with their "off the record conversation"?
Some examples,
He would walk into my room and say to himself "I'm soooo lonely... (sigh)" expecting me to give him attention and ask what is wrong.
If we were in the kitchen, he would say "Who had pasta for dinner and left their dishes in the sink? I hate it when people do that" This is when he fully knew that I had pasta for dinner.
If I ever wanted to drive his car to school, he would say "The car is a little low on gas, and I was going to fill it up the next time I went out... (pause)" and wait till I would say that I would fill it up
Initially, I tried to please my friend giving him the attention or other request he wanted, but more recently I have begun to ignore those "hints." What I'm getting at is, what is the polite way to respond to someone who is annoying you because they are always indirect and can never ask a direct question? Since a lot of the time, they are only hinting at a question, do you avoid it and go along with their "off the record conversation"?
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Components and Representation
Yet again this week we were introduced to another aspect of communication that I would have never thought was given much thought or research. After this lecture I realized the importance of the "macro" look to communication and how cultural traits can influence communication.
Hofstede's model of cultural variability does a good job at using the proper dimensions to evaluate culture differences. In general, the results did not shock me as I had already had some idea where counties would place on the spectrum. I knew that Americans and Caucasians would place in the category of "low context cultures" and Orientals would place in the "high text cultures", but did not have expectations for Latin Americans, Greeks, Spanish and the French. (Not having any good friends in any of these cultures) Therefore this lecture helped show me the differences between the cultures that I am not very familiar with. It was very surprising to me to see the Latin Americans at the higher end of the continuum as I never knew that Latin Americans were homogeneous in their experiences and have not changed very much over time.
Through personal experience I can easily see why Americans are placed on the lower end of the spectrum. For example, I can come up with an instance where individualism is shown in the American culture. When students move onto university and college, the majority of them will look into schools that are away from home. (too far to commute) This is because most students want to get away from home to live by themselves and "party" without the rules of their parents.
I would say that moving away from home to go to university is more of the "in" thing to do as you get a lot more freedom. With my parents, moving away was primarily to help me to become more independent as a student, to help me "survive" out in the real world. This meant getting up for class on my own, doing my own laundry, cooking for myself, cleaning, paying bills etc.
Since there are so many different cultures it is quite amazing how they all communicate and get along with each other regardless of the many differences they have. I wonder if the trends that we see now will continue to exist of will they all eventually blend into one?
Hofstede's model of cultural variability does a good job at using the proper dimensions to evaluate culture differences. In general, the results did not shock me as I had already had some idea where counties would place on the spectrum. I knew that Americans and Caucasians would place in the category of "low context cultures" and Orientals would place in the "high text cultures", but did not have expectations for Latin Americans, Greeks, Spanish and the French. (Not having any good friends in any of these cultures) Therefore this lecture helped show me the differences between the cultures that I am not very familiar with. It was very surprising to me to see the Latin Americans at the higher end of the continuum as I never knew that Latin Americans were homogeneous in their experiences and have not changed very much over time.
Through personal experience I can easily see why Americans are placed on the lower end of the spectrum. For example, I can come up with an instance where individualism is shown in the American culture. When students move onto university and college, the majority of them will look into schools that are away from home. (too far to commute) This is because most students want to get away from home to live by themselves and "party" without the rules of their parents.
I would say that moving away from home to go to university is more of the "in" thing to do as you get a lot more freedom. With my parents, moving away was primarily to help me to become more independent as a student, to help me "survive" out in the real world. This meant getting up for class on my own, doing my own laundry, cooking for myself, cleaning, paying bills etc.
Since there are so many different cultures it is quite amazing how they all communicate and get along with each other regardless of the many differences they have. I wonder if the trends that we see now will continue to exist of will they all eventually blend into one?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Written Discourse
Coming from a Canadian (North American) up bringing, I had no idea how different written discourse could be across different cultures. From the lecture notes, I have learned quite a bit about Chinese discourse and its several different tenancies. I had always questioned some of the writing styles of my Chinese friends, but never mentioned anything. I now know the reason for their "obscure" writing styles. Being in Singapore, I hope to come across more experience with Chinese written discourse, so that I can learn more about the culture.
The notes cover several different tenancies for Chinese writing, however I wonder what the influences of these written discourses are. How is it that across cultures, written discourse can be so different? I'm sure they must all have different influences from different cultural backgrounds. Being a Japanese Canadian, I wonder at which point did my family switch from Japanese written discourse to Canadian (North American) written discourse and why?
Like several other people have mentioned, how have people from different cultures avoided confusion when reading each others literature? I can't even imagine the frustration and confusion that arises.
As we have now passed the half way mark in our semester, I have come to realize that I have learned several different aspects of communication that are common everyday. This class has shown me a whole new aspect to analyzing communication across cultures. I have learned that there is a reason for everything that I would have never suspected in communication, such as written discourse. Up until now I just accepted communication and had not questioned it at all, but this course has so far really been beneficial to understanding cultures.
The notes cover several different tenancies for Chinese writing, however I wonder what the influences of these written discourses are. How is it that across cultures, written discourse can be so different? I'm sure they must all have different influences from different cultural backgrounds. Being a Japanese Canadian, I wonder at which point did my family switch from Japanese written discourse to Canadian (North American) written discourse and why?
Like several other people have mentioned, how have people from different cultures avoided confusion when reading each others literature? I can't even imagine the frustration and confusion that arises.
As we have now passed the half way mark in our semester, I have come to realize that I have learned several different aspects of communication that are common everyday. This class has shown me a whole new aspect to analyzing communication across cultures. I have learned that there is a reason for everything that I would have never suspected in communication, such as written discourse. Up until now I just accepted communication and had not questioned it at all, but this course has so far really been beneficial to understanding cultures.
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