After reading the lecture the most interesting ideas that caught my attention were "on" and "off the record" conversations. I always knew that these types of conversations existed, but had no idea that they were categorized. I myself probably use both types, even though I do not like it when people are off the record. I prefer it when people are direct and forward with their conversations, especially when they want something from me. I have a friend that is ALWAYS off the record whether it is a favor or object that he wants from me or attention.
Some examples,
He would walk into my room and say to himself "I'm soooo lonely... (sigh)" expecting me to give him attention and ask what is wrong.
If we were in the kitchen, he would say "Who had pasta for dinner and left their dishes in the sink? I hate it when people do that" This is when he fully knew that I had pasta for dinner.
If I ever wanted to drive his car to school, he would say "The car is a little low on gas, and I was going to fill it up the next time I went out... (pause)" and wait till I would say that I would fill it up
Initially, I tried to please my friend giving him the attention or other request he wanted, but more recently I have begun to ignore those "hints." What I'm getting at is, what is the polite way to respond to someone who is annoying you because they are always indirect and can never ask a direct question? Since a lot of the time, they are only hinting at a question, do you avoid it and go along with their "off the record conversation"?
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Being indirect in making a request does give the requestee an option to not to comply with it, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt is clear from your illustrations that politeness is relative depending on who the recipient is. If one favors directness, an indirect request may sound impolite and annoying. Reversely, if one favors indirectness, a direct request will sound too blunt and impolite.